I received news today that some really terrible rumors were circulating, and I was the subject being defaced. Although I am apparently the leading lady in these terrible tales, I'm not the only one being hurt, nor am I the only one who's effected by all of this nonsense.
It's been many years since I have had to deal with the frivolous trivialities of a mind that is hungry for attention; I have forgotten that people–although they may look innocent and sweet on the surface and they may act witty and kind in your presence–can be vicious and hateful and really quite horrible. They use thoughtless actions and careless words to mar the mental appearance and social reputation of any one for any reason at any time or in any place. They care not about repercussions, nor do they consider how they look at the time of the transgression.
I simply can't understand why people need to tear one another apart, especially when they do it in the light of their own treacherous deceptions. How can gaining something be sweet in the shadow of bitterness? How can the dissolution of another person who has done nothing to you ever be brushed away as easily as an eyelash from a cheek? I never understood the beauty of agoraphobia, but with all the atrocious things that people can do to one another, who can blame anyone who doesn't want to step out into the harshness of the world?
I just want to curl up in my room, sip some tea and erase the terrors from my mind. I've known about these horrible rumors for merely twelve hours. After two minutes, I had enough; the rest has just been torture. I can see how so many people turn to religion. They want to believe that people, in general, are capable of doing good. They want to believe that an idealism exists somewhere, even if it isn't here. They want to feel as though they can disconnect themselves from the horrendous things in this life and join those who are happy in another. But for me, life has been my religion. Living each day the best that I can, making mistakes along the way–what else can we hope to do, try to do?
